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I'm down 5.5 lbs since I started OSB 2 weeks ago!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: insert happy dance here ::
I'm so proud of myself- I have been really diligent with my food log and I've become *very* aware of what I'm putting in my mouth so I'm not just mindlessly eating without any knowledge of how many calories I'm consuming... plus I've been working out 4 days a week! I've decided to "weigh in" every other week from here on out instead of every week- so I'll have an update the week of the 24th. It would be really awesome if I could see another 5.5 loss next time... but any loss would be good! Here's to hoping! ;)
It's been a few days so I thought I should post something... let's start with the "good" stuff.
Well I have officially completed week 1 of OSB and I have to say it went very well. Crystle and I got our asses kicked at the gym Monday and Wednesday (OMG- seriously!), and I got my ass kicked at home doing the Jillian Michaels video on Tuesday and Thursday! I bought new weights on Friday, and got a little treadmill time in at home on Saturday. I'm most proud to say that I was successful at keeping my daily calorie intake at @ 1200 every day last week, with the exception of my "cheat meal" at O'Charleys on Friday night with my boys. (Total fror Fri was still decent- 1500!) I've been keeping a food diary/log at fitday.com. It rocks!
Let's see... Well, we also watched a few movies since it rained most of the weekend. B enjoyed Alvin & the Chipmunks- the Squeakquel, and my favorite was "The Blind Side" (ahh, so good!) We also watched "Law Abiding Citizen" (Jamie Foxx / Gerard Butler)- which was defnitely good, just a little disturbing for me at times. Other than that it was a typical weekend- laundry, grocery shopping, hanging with my two favorite boys... fun fun.
Now to the "bad".
All weekend my heart was broken, and I was on the verge of tears because my mom's foster kid Becca was taken to live with a relative on Thursday... I can't even begin to explain how much we all love this little girl, how she is just as much a part of our family as my own son is. There just aren't enough words for how we feel about her. I know things could be worse, but right now it feels like the walls are closing in and I can't breathe. Taking a child in and making her part of your family... loving her like she's your own child... creating memories with her... putting your whole heart and soul into another human being... only to have them taken away is just devastating, no matter the circumstances. I think a lot times people hear the word "foster" and can't really fathom that to us- it's the equivalent of having our own flesh and blood taken from us... Becca was never my "foster sister". She was my sister from day one- and sometimes even more like a daughter to me. I don't know... it just sucks and it hurts more than I could have imagined. I've been a walking nervous breakdown waiting to happen for days- I find myself snapping at Dale and picking fights with him just so I can stay MAD instead of giving into the sadness. I'm a real mess... I know everything will be ok, and time will make this pain go away- but right now I'm just trying to get through it without losing my mind. I know (well at least hope) we will be able to see her again- but she won't know me... she won't remember me and just knowing that is excrutiating...
My mom has also decided that Becca was her last foster kid- which should give me some relief... to know I won't have to feel this kind of pain ever again, but at the same time knowing there won't be babies or toddlers at her house anymore is just incredibly sad to me. My whole life I have been a "little mother" to a million foster babies- its all I know. I've always looked forward to visits to my moms house to hang out and play with the kids... and now- nothing is ever going to be the same when I'm there. To be honest I don't know if I know how to be "me" without babies to take care of... Ugh, I don't even know how to make sense of how I feel. It's like I was useful and I was where I was supposed to be when I was helping my mom with the kids- whether it was babysitting so she could have a date night, or taking some kids to my house for an overnight, or picking one up to go to a pumpkin patch, or to see christmas lights... or just coming over to bring them a special snack or toy... now, the house is going to feel empty and just different. I'm just not ready for that yet...
Well- there really isn't any good way to end this post after all that depressing stuff so I guess that's it.
I love you Becceroni- more than you could ever imagine... you'll always be my "pretty girl". ♥
Operation Skinny Bitch: DAY ONE.
So after an awesome weekend (girls night with my BFF, quality time with my two little sisters and B, my niece's 1st B-day party, and a lazy Sunday night with my boys) I'm ready to make some changes in order for OSB to be successful.
Here's my "game plan":
(1) Hitting the gym with Crystle every Mon/Wed
(2) Doing the Jillian Michael's workout every Tues/Thurs at home
(3) Keeping track of what I eat for a few weeks (at least) on fitday.com
(4) Drinking mostly water, with the exception of an occasional fruit juice and/or coffee beverage
(5) Try (*) to get more sleep at night
I really, really, really want to make healthy changes and stick with them so I can be happier with myself. I think that incorporating my workout with a friend will definitely help motivate me too- lord knows it's hard to keep going sometimes when it's just you and the evil square box (otherwise known as the scale... )
So, yea. I'm excited about tonight's workout... less than thrilled about "weighing in" but I really don't see a way around that. I'm hoping to get in some cardio and ab work tonight (aiming high folks!) ... maybe even some arm work? (Eh, let's not get crazy now kids! lol) At any rate- wish me luck... this time my head and heart are in it, and I don't want to let myself down.
So I know I said I wasn't going to start "Operation Get Hot" (which I will refer to as "Operation Skinny Bitch" from here on out. lol) until Monday, but I still feel like a hypocrite and a fraud right now... why, you ask? Well because it's girl's night with my BFF tonight, and we're going to... THE OLIVE GARDEN. Yeah, I know... Pasta, Cream Sauces, and Carbs- Oh my!
Well see... OG is just one of our "spots" and so who I am to break tradition in favor of my waistline? I mean a good friend means always saying "pass the breadsticks" where I come from. So- tonight we will eat, drink and be merry and come Monday "Operation Skinny Bitch" is in effect. For rizzle this tizzle.
In other news- last night was B's final school conference for the year- hard to believe! I'm so proud of him- he's done so well in 1st grade. He's still reading above grade level and doing very well in all the other areas, with the exception of math. I told Mrs. McKinney I wasn't surprised that he wasn't acing math- his mama always struggled with math too. It is what it is. I guess some people are born with mathematical abilities, while others are born with the skills to be AWESOME. Yep- we're in the second group and we're ok with that. ha!
We also went to see my lil sis in a play at her school last night- "DinoStars". It ROCKED. She was too cute and she did an amazing job... and I wouln't be surprised if she ended up being the lead part in the HS musical someday. Jessy was kinda like my first "unofficial" kid so I was beyond proud of her last night- she is such a great kid and I love her so much! GO JESS!
Ok well back to girls night. I'm super excited to spend some time with my BFF Crystle... we're also gonna check out the new Jennifer Lopez movie- "Back-up Plan" I'm all about some romantic comedies- so I can't wait! J Lo might not have much of singing career, but girlfriend can always deliver in a ro-co. (Um, hello... Monster-in-Law? The Wedding Planner? Maid in Manhattan? Love 'em all!) It should be a good night.
TGIF everyone. WORD.
Ok so I have decided I need to get my ::fat:: ass in shape. Seriously. Damn it. So "Operation Get Hot" is officially underway over here.
So I should start by posting my "before" weight, but let's face it... that is just not gonna happen. But I will say that I am currently -6 lbs from the last time I weighed myself at the end of Feb (?) so we'll go from there. Ideally I would like to lose 30 lbs. Realistically I am going to aim for 20-25 lbs. I'll keep track on here- maybe weighing in once a week (?) and hopefully the -6 turns into a -10 and so forth... *fingers crossed*
I have been walking on the treadmill for 20-30 mins, 3-4 times a week and doing situps, but that just isn't doing the job so I have to STEP IT UP. For motivation I ordered Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred on amazon yesterday ($5.99 go me!) and I intend to put my arse to work come Monday. Wish me luck- I've heard her workouts are insane. (yay...)
Ok so last Saturday we took our glittery branches to the hall so we could play around with some vase options for our centerpieces. Turns out, this spur of the moment visit ended up being somewhat stressful-thanks to the coordinator.
Long story short- she only had very tall/skinny eifel tower vases which were a joke with our branches. So she tried to help by taking out some other vases they use for headtables to see what would work with what we had. After several minutes of her running back and forth grabbing vases and gem fillers- she made a mock display for us... and let me tell you- everything was just OFF. I wanted the branches to be mostly bunched together in a straight up and down fashion while she had them fanning out all over the place. I wanted to use a "snow" like vase filler and she was using those glass gem things. As if that wasn't stressing me out enough- she then proceeded to explain that unless we added color- our centerpiece would be boring. (Did she just say my idea was BORING?!?) She suggested adding colored branches or lights... LED's and whatnot. ::: um, what?? :::
Now ok. I really do like our coordinator- she's pretty awesome. And I know she was just trying to help. But... at that point I was upset. I felt like she had dismissed my whole idea and wasn't getting "my vision". We thanked her for the help and suggestions and got out of there before I had a mini breakdown. When I got home I immediately started researching LED lights, colored branches, different size vases- the works. And to my dismay- everything was super expensive and I just couldn't make anything I did find work with what I had in mind. It shouldn't have been a big deal- but to me, I was back to square one with my centerpiece and that made me a little nutty because I don't like the unknown. (yes, I'm crazy like that.)
Fast forward to Monday... after obsessing and scouring the internet all day- I decided to stop by Old Tyme Pottery on the way to my mom's house that night. I ended up picking out a vase that I thought *might* work- (a pretty big feat considering the rows and rows of glass vases that inevitably all start to look the same!) and decided to make my own mock display. Grabbing the only thing I had in the house that resembled snow (COTTON BALLS) so I could show it to Dale- I went to work on my vase. As it turned out, the vase I picked was perfect for the branches, just perfect. The size, the shape. Ahh. And amazingly the cotton balls I used as a filler totally worked and looked like snow! (2 for 2 now!) It was still a work in progress, but it had the most important thing- potential.
So last night Dale, B and I took a trip to Michaels to get a few other things to use in our centerpiece. The finished product went something like this: we tied a beautiful blue ribbon around the vase, dusted the cotton ball "snow" inside the vase with glitter, and then set the whole thing on a square mirror. We added some light blue gems scattered on the glass and 3 tea lights (we have votive holders for the real thing- the tea lights were just to test it) and stood back to scrutinize our work... and...
Lo and behold- it was beautiful... and exactly what I had envisioned! The candlelight reflected the glitter on the branches, the blue ribbon and gems added enough color to make it POP, but not take away from the simple elegant beauty of the branches, and it just felt like "Winter Wonderland" to me.
I'm sooo glad I became an obsessed crazy person who just had to make MY centerpiece work. Otherwise I might have impulsively starting ordering colored branches and LED lights and I would not be happy. We are going to have the centerpiece we want, and we're saving ourselves a lot of money. Take that coordinator lady!
I can't wait to show my future MIL tonight to get her opinion... hopefully she loves it as much as I do!
So I'm a planner by nature... well, almost to a fault. I spend an incredible amount of time planning, overthinking, and overanalyzing just about everything in my life. I'll admit sometimes I love that I'm that way (planning ahead can have its benefits!) but other times I wish I had the ability to just go with the flow... Trust me, I have tried (mostly in an effort to please my fiance, who is very laid back compared to me) but every time I try I find that it's an epic FAIL. I'm the kind of girl who likes to think about all the what-ifs, the how's, the whens- I just need.to.know.as.much.as.I.can.
::enter my upcoming wedding::
So being the type A, organized, and "need to plan every detail "gal that I am- naturally, I have multiple spreadsheets that I hope will continue to keep me sane during this wedding planning. *Side note: Kudos to the inventor of Excel. That program is genius and I would be lost somewhere in wedding hell without it. I have no idea how ANYONE plans a wedding without several spreadsheets being involved. I mean really? I just don't see how it's even possible.* I have to say though- wedding planning is the most fun I've ever had, and so far- its been fairly stress-free. (Well at least until last Saturday when the wedding coordinator basically called our centerpieces "boring" and suggested we add color and lights and yes, I felt my head starting to explode... but more on that later) Granted we still have 8 months to go- so here's to hoping I don't wind up in the looney bin once the momentum kicks in and the alcohol runs out. Ok- so I'm kidding about the alcohol... well, maybe. ha.
So our wedding is set for Dec 4th, 2010. I know December isn't a popular month to get married (yeah I know- most girls want "Spring" or "Summer" but not everyone can be as awesome as me. yeah, I said it.) but for us, it works. I have always loved Christmas and we became an official couple on Christmas Eve- so what could be more perfect than getting married in December?? We have a whole "Winter Wonderland" theme going on and if everything goes the way I hope- it will be beautiful and elegant in a "we're on a budget" kind of way. Sorry- no Platinum Weddings here ladies...
So in honor of my first official wedding post I thought it would be fun to make a list of all the things we have so far... well fun for me, and an excuse to scroll down quickly for you.
Booked:
Hall
DJ
Photographer
Cake
Honeymoon (Hotel and Airfare)
Bought:
My Dress (a $699 dress that I unexpectantly got for only $99! MADNESS!)
Wedding Bands (both of ours)
Centerpiece Branches (they are sparkly and I absolutely ♥ them)\
Votive candle holders (just need the candles now)
Table scatter gems
Invitations (handmade by my future MIL- they are awesome and so is she!)
Favors (assembled as well- just call me Miss Efficient)
Cake Topper and some cake decorations
Ring Bearer pillow
Ok I think that's most of it. Impressive, no? We officially started planning in January (we got engaged in October, but we wanted to wait until the holidays were over to start) so as of April 21st- that's how much progress we've made. Yay!
Ok this is long enough, so I'll save the coordinator/centerpiece story for another post.
If you're still reading... thanks for hanging in there. Sorry. I write like I talk... A LOT.
